darkflavor

i just sit here and stare at the screen sometimes. during these times i wait for the next distraction. if i find one i welcome it with a warm smile. during these times i realize how little self motivation one can have. what happed to the will, the self? where did it go? is it hidden? is it lying there, still? if so, what does it take to wake it?
another way to look at it is self-paralysis. an example: a woman with no future, no family, no obligations meets the man of her dreams, so to speak. (the sex can be reversed in this situation) the man leaves on a journey somewhere, perhaps he has a job in a far away land. he offers her to join him. the woman becomes paralyzed by this offer. time moves on and he is gone. she is still there. why? i suspect fear is the reason here. fear of change. maybe it’s fear of realizing a dream. that could be it. to realize and fulfill a dream is to let go of your familiar reality. it’s kinda like leaving home for the first time. it’s a big step into uncharted territory, into the unknown, and into the future. because of that, i feel, many become paralyzed when they glimpse the power they have to change their reality. the power is their Self. their reality is that which they believe to be real.

everyday we get a chance to fulfill our dreams. everyday we say to ourselves “it is not possible.”

what does this have to with staring at the screen waiting for some trivial distraction to come along?