darkflavor

So I pissed in the toilet and one of my cats starts drinking from it. Wtf?
tara has her 2nd exhibition in june. it takes place in germany. We likely won’t go. The city the exhibition is in reminds me of Buffalo, NY. The population is twice the size, but there are incredible similarities however. Imagine the situation slightly different: we live in Europe and wish to visit the USA for five days. So we travel to Buffalo, NY. Hardly a worthwhile visit if you ask me.
i dont really want to be a webmaster. i dont feel i am using myself to my fullest potential this way. but it is a means to … something… to somewhere…
I have been closed off lately. the isolation being here has finally hit me. Or I reached a new level of maturity and I am not dealing with isolation appropriately. I feel so lonely i cry. i want to be back with my family. Right now! The problem is i cannot bare to leave this beautiful land of blue skies and breath-taking scenery.
so i am torn.
it’s possible we will rent a home over the summer in ny each year… or something like that.

If anyone visits the Grand Canyon I recommend doing something other than driving to the ledge of the caynon. thats what we did and it was not gratifying. we drive four hours over some rough terrain to reach the west rim at sunset. we walked up to the ledge and looked down. there was no rope or wall. the canyon averages a mile in depth and the river appeared smaller than my finger held out at arms length. tara said “look at the hawks”. they were helicopters appearing as small as birds. the canyon averages ten miles wide. it really is a gigantic thing. it was all cold and windy. my hands went numb and it was april or may i think.
to experience what we did all you would have to do is stand in front of a massive painting of the canyon and have fans blowing on you. the canyon is so huge thats what it was like — standing in front of a massive painting. this is why i recommend doing something other than driving and walking up to it.
go into it instead. we plan on rafting the river on a tour raft this spring.

though i am lonely here, i can’t leave this place. there is just too much to see.